This blog is probably more for me than for you.  

My 14+ year old dog...well, here's the thing.

I don't know how to tell you what happened in a way that makes me feel okay and explains it accurately to you.  The bottom line is that he died humanely, by our vet's hand, by our choice.  It was time for him to go.  He as much as told me himself.

To me, this is devastating.  He was more than just a dog.  He was my friend, son, business partner, teacher, student, and yes, my dog.  My husband and I were his friends, his parents, his teachers and students, and, we were his people.

Most of you reading this will know how emotional and heartbreaking it is to lose a dog or any pet.  There are others I'm not sure about and some that simply do not understand the relationship pets and their humans can have.

What do I tell those people?  I think I need an elevator-pitch type answer.    

It's probably ridiculous how much this stresses me out.  In case I can be a comfort to you, though, I will tell you that I think about this a great deal every time certain types of people ask me a question that requires this answer.  

If I say:

"He's gone."  Might they think he ran away?
"He passed away." Ah; peacefully in his sleep?  How nice.  
"He died."  Yes, but...see above
"He crossed the rainbow bridge."  Sweet, but does a non-dog person get this?
"We put him down." It just sounds so negative--was he a bad dog?   
"He's not with us anymore."  Did you give him back?  Did he go to live with someone else?

You get the idea.  

I tend to say that we had to let him go. But still: Oh?  Where did he want to go?  I think I have decided what to say to people questioning my whereabouts for those couple of days.  A family member passed away.  I think anyone will get that.  They probably won't ask a lot of questions, also. One can hope.

Lots of you will say, "What possible difference can all this agonizing make?" or "Who cares what other people think?"  (Sigh.)  Me.  I care.  I want everyone who asks to know what a wonderful, sweet, intelligent, funny, handsome, loyal individual he was.  I want them to know that he and I had a beautiful, empathetic, trusting relationship.  I want them to know that there are times when I hopelessly wonder how my life will be without him.  I want them to know--(DING!)  "I'm sorry, ma'am.  This is my floor."

Those of you who get it--thank you.
​

Ah, Friday morning!  When I used to work an 8 - 5 job, Friday mornings were the easiest ones to get through.  Why?  Because I had Friday night to look forward to!  Friday night officially started the weekend for me, and the whole day was better just knowing I had that waiting after the work day.  Do you remember having this feeling about an event, too?                                       

A few years ago, I saw a lecture by trainer John Rogerson.  I've been thinking lately about one of the topics he discussed.  Rogerson insists that your dog needs "something to look forward to" every single day.  It's enriching for your dog and a terrific relationship builder.  If you have a good relationship with your dog, your chances of having a well-behaved dog increase tremendously.

​What does your dog have to look forward to?  Some of you might say, my dog gets to take naps all day, eat, and not work a job he doesn't like!  While that might sound great to some folks--to only sleep and eat one's way through each day--life might prove to be quite boring rather quickly.  If you haven't thought about this, your dog may be living that kind of life, too.  Boring!

So, does your dog have anything special to look forward to each day?  Maybe it's your return from work.  That's nice, but what else?  Besides, as some of you experience each time you return home, some dogs greet their families with a bit too much exuberance.  I'm talking bruises and scratches, running reckless circles around the house, or peeing (a discussion for another day).  If there were other things going on, that dog might react a bit more calmly at the door.  Yes, of course your dog will still be happy to see you, but it might be more controlled (and less painful or expensive).

"Something to look forward to" can be as simple as a walk in the evening.  We take our dogs on what we call a sniff walk.  We determine the route, but the dogs can stop and sniff almost anything they want to  (no lingering by the garbage cans on garbage night!) for as long (well--most of the time) as they want.  A sniff walk doesn't have to be a long distance walk (though many dogs appreciate that); just give them enough time to experience a little more of their world.  Simple!

​My dogs are older and don't play any fetching games, but that could be another fun thing to do with your dog.  Try playing a game of some kind with your dog every day.  Here are some ideas:

• Fetching a tossed ball or Frisbee; 
• Chasing a rolled ball (I knew of a Scottie who loved to nudge and chase a basketball around his back yard);
• Find-it or Nosework (tm)-style games;
• A game of Tug with Rules;
• Hide and seek.

It doesn't have to be a game.  It can be any activity your dog enjoys doing with you.  In addition to a sniff walk, consider:

• A ride to the local pet bakery for a treat;
• Riding along with you to run a short errand; (do I need to remind you not to leave your dog in the car unless the air conditioner is running? Some businesses allow dogs inside.  Check before you go.)
• Stand-up paddleboarding or canoeing together;
• Running or biking with you
• Spending 10 minutes going through some training exercises that your dog enjoys. (We try to work on a little something every day.)  

It's best if the activity you choose takes place during the same part of the day--like an afternoon or evening time-frame.  That helps build expectation.  It doesn't have to be the same thing every day, either.  As long as you have set aside a time for a special activity with your dog.

When choosing an activity, think about what your dog enjoys most. Keep in mind that the most important component of the activity is you!  It's not enough to simply release your dog into the back yard. You should be involved in this special event in your dog's day.  

Spending a half hour of your day with your dog shouldn't be difficult.  If you find this too unpleasant, forget about working on the relationship you have with your dog and get someone else to do something fun with him.  You can hire a dogwalker, talk to a neighbor who has an older child who might like to play with your dog, or find a neighbor who has a dog your dog enjoys spending time with.  This isn't the most ideal solution, but at least your dog will have something to look forward to even if it doesn't include his favorite person--you.  (And, if you don't enjoy spending a little time with your dog, you might want to think a bit about why.  Maybe having a dog isn't a good fit for you.)

Your dog asks so little of you.  ​The least you can do is make his life an enriching one.

Want to know more about how to improve your dog's behavior and to improve your relationship with him?  Contact us to set up a training appointment today!

Already doing something fun with your dog each day?  Tell us what you do in the comments below.  It might just help someone else!

When I started learning to train dogs professionally, my mentor did not want to use any of the conventional punitive training equipment.  She started with a head collar; a Snoot Loop, to be exact.  We still used the same basic old-fashioned methods--a little more gently, maybe--to train at first, but had slightly more humane equipment.  When she switched to clicker training, I switched with her, but I didn't go easy.  I was pretty darned cranky about having to change methods, if you want to know the truth.

Fifteen years later, I am grateful to her for teaching me the most humane methods she knew.  Since then, I have learned from many other professionals along the way through internships, training academies, reading research papers and clinical studies, and attending workshops and seminars.  With this training and the years of experience I have accumulated training my own clients' and shelter and rescue group dogs, I have learned more and more humane and effective ways to train.  Most people refer to this as positive dog training.

Just a Teensy Bit of Background (Really--a miniscule amount)
Positive dog training methods have been used by professionals since the 1950's, and probably by an enlightened few for as long as dogs have been domesticated.  In the 1980's positive dog training started becoming more popular, and more and more trainers began to use it instead of the old-fashioned, punishment-based methods.  Why?  It's pretty simple really.  Once a person understands that positive training methods work and how they work, if that person has respect and love for animals, she can't use the old-fashioned methods.  It's impossible for us to hurt or scare the animals in our care when we know there is a better, more humane method for training.  I have often said to my clients, "If you can achieve the same or better training results using positive methods, why would you choose to hurt or scare your dog into doing something for you?"  

The Nugget
I'm not telling you anything new here.  There's no innovative concept or exciting new message to share here.  However, here's the really interesting piece:  there are professional dog trainers who still use old-fashioned methods.  They still choose to choke, pinch, bite, hang, kick, hit, scare or emotionally abuse animals to train them.  (Look those methods up if you want to know more about them.  I'm not going to horrify you [or myself] with their descriptions.)

I can sort of understand a pet owner still using these methods because they've been around a long time and have been propagated through popular t.v. shows and books. Humans have used punishment-based methods to change behavior for as long as we can remember.  It's hard to change.  I know that.  Delivering punishment is actually rewarding to the punisher (a subject for another day or go ahead and look it up).  However, I also know that you don't really want to do these things to your dog, cat, bird, horse, etc. if you really think about it.  And, now that you know that there is a huge community of positive trainers and thousands of books and periodicals to learn from, you don't need to.  Most of us will gladly answer any questions you have about positive training methods or direct you to sources that can help you understand it better.

I know you need equipment to walk and train with your dog, so I'll talk about training equipment in upcoming posts. I'll help you choose the equipment best for you and your dog.  

Yes, There's Homework 
So, now you have a choice.  All I'm asking you to do is choose positive training methods for your pets.  Whether you train them yourself or seek professional assistance.   

They are counting on you.

l

While browsing through the Natural Awakenings August issue, I came across an article about communicating with animals through meditation and "Animal Communication" ("Animal Talk:  They Have Lots to Say if We'd Only Listen" by Sandra Murphy) It was a hopeful article.  I would love to be able to have verbal conversations with the animals who share my home.  I don't think I want anyone else to be able to, though, as they would likely share every embarrassing moment I have, with every person who enters our home:  "Hey, air conditioning guy!  My mom just ran into a door when you rang the doorbell!"

While I can't factually address whether Animal Communication works, I can happily report that it is possible to interpret what your dog is "saying" most of the time through another method.  You only need to take a little time to learn about dog body language.

To be able to do it well, you will need to learn to objectively observe your dog.  You may have to let go of some assumptions you have previously made about her behavior.  Try not to anthropomorphize (to ascribe human form or attributes to [an animal, plant, material, object,
 etc.] - dictionary.com) when you look at her. In other words, don't assume she's acting guilty because she chewed your favorite shoe.  (She's probably just nervous about your reaction.)

So let's get started.  Turn around and look at your dog.  Look at her:

• ears
• eyes
• mouth
• tail
• muscle tension
• body posture
• body orientation

Simply note what you see; are the eyes wide open or soft with half closed lids? Are the ears forward, up, back? Is the tail wagging slowly or stiffly upright?  Are any teeth showing, are the lips relaxed or pulled back?  Is she gripping the floor with her paws?  Is she leaning forward or backward?  Is she facing you or lying prone on the floor?  

Now get up and take a couple of steps toward the door.  Look at your dog again.  Look at all of the same body parts and positioning.  There's a good chance that something has changed.  What changed and how?  You're on your way to learning to objectively read your dog's body language.

There are reams of information about dog body language available on the internet and in books.  For instance, go to this link for a fantastic downloadable poster on dog body language by artist Lili Chin:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/lilita/5652847156/sizes/l/.  I won't go into detail here about what every change means, therefore.  If you have a club or group who would enjoy a presentation on this subject, Affinity Dog Behavior & Training, LLC offers this service.

With practice, you won't even have to think.  You'll see your dog or another dog, maybe with stiff body posture, a closed mouth, ears forward and staring, and you'll think, "that dog is worried about something."  You may look around and see another dog approaching and you can then make an intelligent decision (maybe based on the other dog's body language!) about whether you should remove your dog from the situation.  

You will feel so empowered once you take the time to learn to interpret your dog's language. Notably, you will be able to improve the relationship you have with your own dog.  And, by now, hopefully, you know how important that is.

Greetings, fellow Floridians!

I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to say that.  I have always loved the parts of Florida that I have visited and am finding Englewood/Venice to be equally as delightful; so many nice people and beautiful scenery.  It pleases me no end to see how many dog owners live here and to see how many business owners allow them to eat, shop or visit with their dogs.

As hot as it is most of the year down here, the kindness of those business owners is even more important.  There must be, what, 3 months a year a dog could survive if left in one's car?

Of course, I don't expect those parks and business owners to continue their kindness if the the kind of behavior I've seen in a few instances continues.  A few bad apples can ruin it for everyone, as you all know.  They are messy and inconsiderate to other patrons,--I'm talking about the people, of course.  You folks--and you know who you are--absolutely MUST pick up after your dogs.  This is an unspoken, but fully expected rule.  Yeah, I know you don't like to pick it up, but I can assure you that no one enjoyed changing your diaper when you were a baby, and they did it anyway.  In one presentation I gave at a retirement community in Georgia, there was an audible groan when I brought this up.  And, hey--stop pretending you didn't see it, too.  We've all heard that one before. The rule is easy--it's not okay to leave your dog's poop anywhere but your own yard or garbage can.  Please remember that if one non-dog owning person steps in your dog's pile of poop, repercussions ripple out to affect all of us who love to be with our dogs. Please be considerate of others and we will all be able to enjoy the company of our furry family members. Thank you to all of you who DO pick up after your canine friends.

Don't worry, I'm not a constant nag.  There will be really some interesting blogs to follow.  Promise!